Synopsis

KID meets WOMAN. WOMAN is cold-hearted and bitchy. KID fucks WOMAN. WOMAN is cold-hearted and bitchy. KID reads to WOMAN. WOMAN shows EMOTION. KID’s LIFE is fucked up by WOMAN. WOMAN disappears.

MEANWHILE, in the FUTURE, KID is RALPH FIENNES and WOMAN was a NAZI. Don’t you just hate it when that happens?

Also, KATE WINSLET’S NIPPLES are huge.

By the Numbers

  • Tits: 2
  • Guns: 0
  • Car Chases: 0
  • Swordfights: 0
  • Wizards: 0
  • Explosions: 0
  • Holocausts: 1
  • Therefore, Oscars: 1
  • Angst: Over one million (I think it goes Super Saiyan about half an hour from the end)

Overall: 4.5 / 5

Not quite too depressing to review – hi, Benjamin Button – but oh god, gibber, the angst. Angry Germans, sex, angry Germans, angry sex– A WILD HOLOCAUST APPEARED! YOU WILL CRY NOW kthxbai.