Synopsis

A WIMPY KID bunks off SCHOOL to read JIM HENSON’s “JED: THE GENERIC FANTASY QUEST NOVEL”. FRAME STORIES, FOURTH WALLS and PUPPETS are summarily abused.

By the Numbers

• Bullies, in pieces of flair per person: 3
• Paedophiles: 1
• Racing Snails raced: 1
• Horses terrified: 1
• Atreyu, in litres of conditioner: 97
• Scenes inspired by Predator: 1
• Beings: 106
• Nothingnesses: 1
• Flammies: 1
• Walls: <4
• Falcor air-miles: over 9000 (that was easy)
• Potential 80s fantasy novel covers, in video frames: also over 9000
• Potential 80s metal album covers, in video frames: you guessed it
• Percentage of a damn Bastian’s dad and teachers care that he just disappeared for, like, 24 hours: 0
• 5TH MIX: FUCK YEAH
• Endings: Surprisingly, one

Overall: 2 / 5

(by the Cynical Old Bastard count)

(4 / 5 by the Reminiscence count)