ATHOS is a NINJA FROGMAN. ARAMIS is BAT-SNAPE. MILADY DE WINTER is QUEEN ELIZABETH. PORTHOS and D’ARTAGNAN are… pretty accurately portrayed, to be honest.
Together, they fight
CRIME THE CHURCH! And its INEXPLICABLE ZEPPELIN!
By the Numbers
- Games of Medieval: Total War played: 2
- Macguffins: 3
- Uses of Bullet-time: 3
- Booby traps, per corridor: over 9000
- Tripwires, per vault: over 9000
- Buttercup: 1
- Horses given parking tickets: 1 
- Swashes buckled: 725
- Lord Flashhearts: 1
- Baldricks: 1
- Wenches on winches: 1
- Airship-mounted flamethrowers: 1
- Steampunk factor: significant
- Century: Allegedly, 17th
- Muskets used by musketeers: as always, zero
Overall: 4 / 5
Cheese rating: Roquefort (obviously)
Seventeenth Century airships and the Notre Dame cathedral?
RULE 34. NO. FUCKING. EXCEPTIONS.