Synopsis

Some AMERICANS and some BRITS get together at FUTURE SECRET NATO BASE and mod their GENES, get drunk, take drugs and go SWIMMING. Sounds like a nice holiday!

By the Numbers

• Random future year: 2048
• Price of a life: $300,000,000
• Base, in square miles: 4
• Military estate agents: 1
• Tender father-son holographic stellarium repairs: 1
• Apocalypses: Now
• Slow-mo laboratory liquid diffusions: of course
• Injection squick factor: 1
• Deaths from immunorejection: 1
• Random violent rages: 2
• Deaths from that: 24
• Pharmaceutical debates: 1
• Rounds of shots downed to cope with this film: 2
• Handrail-less staircases drunkenly ascended: 2, barely
• The above, descended wrapped in a duvet: 2, easily
• Ill-advised pharmaceuticals for the transformation patients: several
• Religious astronaut WAGs: 1
• Titans, in the Greek sense: 0
• Superman: 1
• Training montages: 1
• Surgical montages: 1
• Digits per hand post-TF: 4
• Lovechildren of Voldemort and the Silence from Dr Who: 2
• Unnecessary smart-glass opacity change sound effects: hmm
• Swabs of toilets analysed: Yep, this film tried to be scientific, but…
• Prehensile tentacle fingers: oh my.

Overall: 2/5

“Goodnight Earthling”