Synopsis

Some AMERICANS and some BRITS get together at FUTURE SECRET NATO BASE and mod their GENES, get drunk, take drugs and go SWIMMING. Sounds like a nice holiday!

By the Numbers

  • Random future year: 2048
  • Price of a life: $300,000,000
  • Base,
    in square miles: 4
  • Military estate agents: 1
  • Tender father-son holographic stellarium repairs: 1
  • Apocalypses: Now
  • Slow-mo laboratory liquid diffusions: of course
  • Injection squick factor: 1
  • Deaths from immunorejection: 1
  • Random violent rages: 2
  • Deaths from that: 24
  • Pharmaceutical debates: 1
  • Rounds of shots downed to cope with this film: 2
  • Handrail-less staircases drunkenly ascended: 2, barely
  • The above, descended wrapped in a duvet: 2, easily
  • Ill-advised pharmaceuticals for the transformation patients: several
  • Religious astronaut WAGs: 1
  • Titans, in the Greek sense: 0
  • Superman: 1
  • Training montages: 1
  • Surgical montages: 1
  • Digits per hand post-TF: 4
  • Lovechildren of Voldemort and the Silence from Dr Who: 2
  • Unnecessary smart-glass opacity change sound effects: hmm
  • Swabs of toilets analysed: Yep, this film tried to be scientific, but…
  • Prehensile tentacle fingers: oh my.

Overall: 2/5

“Goodnight Earthling”