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Film Reviews (by the Numbers)

Tinkerbell and the Great Fairy Rescue

Synopsis

Long ago, before TINKERBELL was SASSY and BITCHY, she was DITZY and POINTLESS. For some reason, they made a MOVIE about THAT BIT.

However, the ENTIRE THING appears to be a PROPAGANDA FILM about FAIRY ENGINEERING. Which is STRANGELY AWESOME.

By the Numbers

  • Fairy Air Traffic Controllers: 1
  • Bugs Hugged: 1
  • Games of Charades: 37
  • Unicorns: 0
  • Main Character Fairies: 8
  • Main Character Fairy Stereotypes: 8
  • Main Character Fairies with any kind of point whatsoever: 1
  • Incidences of Air-swimming: 14
  • Drugged cats: 1
  • Kristin Chenoweth: 1

Overall: 3 / 5

Today, the internal combustion engine. Tomorrow, potato armies! PETER PAN IS THE SECRET HISTORY OF oh fuck

2 replies on “Tinkerbell and the Great Fairy Rescue”

YES I AM COMPLETELY AWARE THAT LIKE FOUR PEOPLE IN THE WORLD HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT THAT LAST LINE IS ALL ABOUT

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